Depressed

Steve said the other day that I was too cheerful and that it would hit me at some point & well he was right because here it is. I don't feel sorry for myself or anything, it just feels as if I'm hurting the people I care about the most- which of course I am.

I know nobody blames me, of course, it's just the way I think. It's easy to be rational when you haven't just been told you've got cancer.

Sam told me at the weekend that he is really worried about the operation and the anesthetic in particular. What I couldn't tell him is that that is exactly what I'm worried about- not having my boobs removed, not the chemo' just getting through Febuary 8th 2005.

Anyway I'm just FED UP!. My hot water pump has stopped working, & my lights are still broken and all I have to do is phone the housing assosiation but I can't be bothered. Also the kitten doesn't know how to use her litter tray! Nice....

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow
Love
Jen x